Grief is messy. And honestly, it sucks.
There’s no getting around it.
When you lose someone or something that mattered to you, life can feel completely different. Sometimes you know exactly what you’re grieving. Sometimes it’s harder to explain.
Maybe someone you love died.
Maybe you lost a baby or child.
Maybe you’re grieving a pregnancy, a relationship, your health, a dream, or the future you thought you were going to have.
Maybe something happened that changed you, and you’re grieving the person you were before it did.
Whatever the loss, you may be wondering how you’re supposed to keep going when everything feels different now.
You don’t have to figure that out alone.
At Evolve Counseling, I provide grief and loss counseling for adults in Centennial, Colorado and throughout the surrounding Denver metro area. I offer a down-to-earth, compassionate space where you can talk honestly about what happened, what you’re feeling, and what life looks like now.
There is no “right” way to grieve.
Grief doesn’t follow a schedule.
You might have a day when you feel almost like yourself again—and then something completely unexpected knocks you right back down.
You might cry. You might feel angry. You might feel numb.
You might feel guilty for laughing.
You might feel guilty for not crying.
You might feel relieved and then feel terrible for feeling relieved.
You might be completely exhausted from trying to hold it together for everyone else.
And you might wonder why everyone else seems to be moving forward when you’re still trying to figure out how to get through the day.
None of this means you’re doing grief wrong.
It means you’re grieving.
You can grieve things other people don’t understand.
Grief isn’t limited to losing someone who died.
There are losses that don’t always get acknowledged or understood by the people around you.
You may be grieving:
- The death of someone you love
- The loss of a baby or child
- Miscarriage or stillbirth
- Infertility or fertility struggles
- A pregnancy or reproductive loss
- A relationship, marriage, or friendship
- Your health or a change in your abilities
- A career or dream
- The future you thought you were going to have
- Your sense of safety after something traumatic happened
- A major life transition
- The person you were before your loss
Sometimes you can’t even put your finger on exactly what you’re grieving.
You just know that something is missing.
That matters, too.
You don’t have to “get over it.”
This is something I feel pretty strongly about.
When you’ve experienced a significant loss, people often want to know when you’ll be “back to normal.”
But what if you’re not supposed to go back to who you were?
Some losses change us.
That doesn’t mean you can’t heal. It doesn’t mean you can’t laugh again, have fun, make plans, or feel genuinely happy.
And it doesn’t mean you’ve forgotten the person or thing you lost.
You can be happy and still miss someone.
You can move forward without moving on.
You can build a life you love while still carrying the loss with you.
Healing doesn’t mean the loss stops mattering.
It means the loss becomes something you can carry without it taking up every bit of space.
So… what actually happens in grief therapy?
Honestly? We talk.
We’ll get to know each other and I’ll learn about your loss, your life, and what has been hardest for you.
You don’t have to tell me everything on day one.
You don’t have to have a goal perfectly figured out.
And you definitely don’t have to show up and pretend you’re okay.
Sometimes therapy means having a place where you can finally say the things you haven’t been able to say anywhere else.
Sometimes we’ll work through the guilt, anger, anxiety, or endless “what ifs.”
Sometimes we’ll talk about relationships that have changed because of your loss.
Sometimes we’ll figure out how to handle birthdays, holidays, anniversaries, pregnancy announcements, baby showers, or other reminders that seem to come out of nowhere.
And sometimes grief gets tangled up with trauma.
When that happens, we may talk about whether EMDR or another trauma-focused approach could help you process the parts of what happened that still feel stuck.
I won’t tell you how you should grieve.
We’ll figure out what you need together.
When grief and trauma get tangled together
Some losses are traumatic.
Maybe the death was sudden or unexpected.
Maybe you witnessed something you can’t stop replaying.
Maybe your loss happened after a frightening medical experience, pregnancy, birth, or diagnosis.
Maybe you know intellectually that what happened is over, but your mind and body haven’t gotten the memo.
You might find yourself avoiding reminders, feeling constantly on edge, replaying what happened, having disturbing memories, or feeling like you’re right back there when something triggers you.
When grief and trauma overlap, therapy may involve both.
EMDR is one approach I use when experiences continue to feel emotionally stuck or overwhelming. You can learn more about EMDR Therapy and Trauma Therapy to see whether either might be a good fit.
Child Loss & Pregnancy Loss
Child loss is a particularly meaningful area of my work.
If you’ve lost a baby or child, you already know that this isn’t something you simply “move on” from.
The world may expect you to keep going.
People may stop asking about your child.
Others may not know what to say—or say something that hurts.
You may worry that everyone else will forget your baby while you are desperately trying to hold on to every memory.
And sometimes, when life starts feeling a little better, guilt shows up.
How can I laugh when my child isn’t here?
How can I enjoy my life when they don’t get to have theirs?
You don’t have to answer those questions alone.
I provide specialized counseling for pregnancy loss, infant loss, stillbirth, child loss, and pregnancy after loss.
You can learn more about Child Loss & Grief Counseling and Pregnancy After Loss Counseling here.
You don’t have to be “better” before you reach out.
Maybe you’re not looking for someone to tell you that everything happens for a reason.
Maybe you don’t want a silver lining.
Maybe you just want someone who can sit with you in the middle of the mess without trying to make it disappear.
I get that.
Life is hard. Loss sucks.
I can’t take away what happened.
But I can sit with you in it, help you make sense of what you’re carrying, and help you figure out how to keep living your life without leaving your loss—or the person you lost—behind.
Let’s figure it out together.
You don’t need to know exactly what you need before you reach out.
We can start with a conversation, answer your questions, and figure out whether I’m the right therapist for you.
Contact Kelly Today →